


for my family, for my friends

by insomniacjams



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-06-12
Updated: 2014-06-12
Packaged: 2018-02-04 08:14:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,206
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1772038
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/insomniacjams/pseuds/insomniacjams
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The AU where the boys are in various American punk bands and Liam puts a benefit show together to help Zayn with the hospital bills after a bad car accident.</p>
            </blockquote>





	for my family, for my friends

**Author's Note:**

> Hi.
> 
> This is my first time writing in this fandom, so I apologize if any of my characterization seems out of character. I hope I did okay.
> 
> Title from the song [For My Family](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ebBjGp7QOGc) by Agnostic Front.

They aren't friends – barely acquaintances, even. Zayn was just always there, standing in the corners with his arms crossed in his worn leather jacket, smoking outside the venues with his boot up against the wall, or talking to his friends. Zayn was just always there, until he was not.

It happened on a Friday night, sometime after Liam's band had finished and he was looking for a clean t-shirt; the Little Things were on stage then, with Harry belting out lyrics so familiar that even in the green room Liam couldn't help but sing along under his breath.

But then the song stopped, and Harry said, "Taken, the last band to play tonight, isn't going to make it. They were involved in an accident on the way to the venue-" And Liam didn't hear anymore except feedback, and yelling – a lot of yelling, because Taken had been around a long time. 

They had found themselves a lot of fans, but more than that, a lot of friends. Liam isn't their friend, but some days, he wonders if he could be.

 

Zayn doesn't drive. It's one of the useless facts that he picked up by association; Niall talks about him a lot, and when he talks about how Zayn is lying in a hospital bed in a coma, Liam clenches his fists together and finally asks, "How did it happen?"

"They were t-boned by a semi," Niall says with a laugh, but it's empty and hollow, and it isn't a joke. Liam didn't laugh. He knows two of them are dead; he went to a memorial that afternoon he shouldn't have gone to, because again, they aren't friends.

He knows the other two are in the hospital; he doesn't know the singer's name, but he'd been the one driving – and Zayn. Liam's known about Zayn since the day Niall and Josh showed up at his door and said, "You're coming to see Taken with us tonight." 

And then a few months later when they said, "We're starting a straight edge hardcore band called Alive. You're going to be our singer." Liam doesn't know how to say no to Niall – doesn't get how anyone can; the boy is 110% smiles and good intentions.

Liam isn't the only one who notices that Zayn is always there. He doesn't ask for updates, but he gets them, because they talk about him now that he's absent. Liam's at another Little Things show, watching Harry prance around on stage when he overhears a girl say, "I heard Zayn woke up today, for a little bit, and that Louis went to see him." Liam smiles to himself.

The thing is, Zayn is everything that Liam wanted to be when Niall asked him to join the band. He's organized; he put on countless shows, shelling out hundreds of dollars from his shallow pockets in order to bring in bands from out of town and get them on the shitty stages in their Podunk hell hole. 

He's an artist, and has created countless album covers and band logos for the local heroes. On top of that, he's brilliant – he's smart, taking a few classes a semester at the local university and working toward a degree in biochemistry. Liam wonders if Zayn still has to pay tuition when he's lying in a hospital bed.

The singer dies on the Wednesday following the accident. Liam doesn't go to that memorial, but Niall and Josh do. They meet afterward in Liam's garage, and Josh just bangs his drums until 11 o'clock at night and the neighbours start pounding on the door to tell them to shut up.

Niall doesn't say anything for the first while; he just plucks away at his guitar, eyes staring unseeingly forward, eerily quiet. When he does talk, he says, "Zayn's in a coma again," and the gears in Liam's brain start turning. 

He can't talk to Josh about it, because Josh is a bit of an emotional wreck these days and only really talks to Niall. He can't talk to Niall about it, because Niall's the most disorganized person Liam knows. Harry's been a disaster as of late, forgetting his own lyrics and breaking down in the middle of sidewalks, and Louis holes himself up in his apartment with Eleanor.

That's why Liam goes to Perrie, the guitarist in Little Things, who he's often seen hanging off Zayn's arm. "What do you want?" She asks, and her voice is cold and hoarse, like she's been crying for days. Liam shrugs.

"I didn't want to bother you, but I don't know who else to ask." Perrie's hair is purple; it cascades down her shoulders like a vibrant waterfall that's faded over the past week due to lack of care. "I want to do something for him," Liam tells her. He doesn't have to tell her who he's talking about.

"Why?" She laughs. "No one ever wants to do anything for him, even when he gives his all to this fuckin' scene. You're not even friends." And she's right, they're not. 

"We could be," Liam says. To be fair, he isn't the closest with Perrie either, but at least he has her number in his phone and can call her out for a cup of coffee once in a while. "I think the people would do something, but they're upset right now, and they don't know what to do. You're right – I don't know him like a lot of you do, or even close to how you do, but that's just it. I'm not hurting right now. And I want to do something for him. It won't even be close to all he's done for us – for my band, for the scene, and for the town. But it's the least I can do."

"Okay," Perrie says. Her hands tighten around the coffee mug as Liam drains his. "I'll help. But you're doing all the heavy lifting." 

When they go their separate ways, Liam notices the ghost of a smile on her face for the first time since he sat down, and he feels a bit better about himself.

 

Liam's never put on a show before. He's always had Josh deal with booking the things that they play. Perrie's never put on a show either, because Harry deals with all of Little Things' schedule and on the off chance she has control, she just makes Zayn do it.

"I want to put on a benefit show for him to help out with the hospital bills, and school fees that he still has to pay while he's injured, and, well, if the worst happens, then his parents will have money for the funeral."

"Right," Perrie agrees, back straight and voice stiff. Liam knows she's thinking about the worst. She's usually better at hiding it, but she's been so tired lately. Liam doesn't know her well, but he can already tell.

"Zayn's the only kid who does anything around here," Eleanor says when Perrie drags her out along with her and Liam to discuss possibilities. "But at least unlike you guys, I help him sometimes and I know where to start." 

They need to start with bands. Perrie and Eleanor agree to talk to Louis and Harry, but Liam knows they'll play. He springs the idea on Josh and Niall that night while they're trying to have a quick practice in the garage, and they agree enthusiastically, falling over each other to tell Liam how proud of him taking initiative they are.

"We need an out of town band to bring in the kids who didn't know Zayn," Louis says – the Little Things and Alive are camped out at the café where Liam initially met with Perrie; they're trying to string together a proper plan now. Liam's completely overwhelmed.

Liam calls in a few favors. He doesn't know a lot of people within the scene; he doesn't have a lot of friends, but he has let a lot of out of town bands sleep on the floor of his apartment. Perrie calls in some favours too – she's got some connections up in Canada, and Zayn's name is a strong argument. 

"It's a benefit show, so we can't afford to pay you," Perrie's saying into her phone, and ten minutes later, she's hanging up and giving the group a thumbs up. 

"Who'd you get?" Louis asks, and Perrie just grins.

Turns out Perrie got in touch with a few guys she knew, and suddenly, they had one of the biggest bands from the area, the River Rats, ready to headline their show. For free. "You're a miracle worker, Pez," Harry says affectionately, and she only smiles wide. Liam thinks about the dark hiding behind her eyes, but thinks he's happy to see her smile again.

 

"We need a venue," Liam's telling Perrie when she eyes him nervously. "Oh come on Perrie, just say it," he sighs when she bites her tongue.

"He's no longer in a coma. Do you want to come see him?" She asks, and Liam feels the colour drain from his cheeks.

"No," he says, but that's a lie. "Not yet," he adds hastily so Perrie knows. "I don’t think I’m ready yet." 

"Okay," Perrie says, and then frowns. "Right, a venue."

"I can make some calls," Niall volunteers, and even though Niall's the most disorganized person that Liam knows, Josh will be the one following up (he always is). 

The space they get is a few blocks from the city centre, up a steep hill that everyone complains about but Liam can't be bothered to waste his breath whining about topography when they're lucky to have found a venue at all. 

"It's an all ages space, but we'll run a bar for those with ID," Niall says, scribbling down the information on a napkin for Liam. "My friend's a bartender and he's loaded – said he'll buy some booze and donate all the profit." 

"Thanks Niall," Liam says, taking the napkin. It's covered in grease stains and crumbs from the scone that Niall had been eating, but it has the address and time slot on it for whoever's going to make the poster. (He copies it down onto an index card after Niall leaves.)

Harry makes the poster. He climbs to the top of the tallest parkade and takes a photo of the skyline. He superimposes the band names across the poster under the title: BENEFIT SHOW FOR ZAYN MALIK. All capitals, eye-catching font, and bright colours leaves Liam feeling a bit winded when he looks at it.

They spend nearly five hours that night, walking around the city after everyone sleeps, wrapping the posters around telephone poles with packing tape. "I hope people show up," Liam says quietly to Harry, biting his lip nervously. "I know our bands don't have much of a draw and the River Rats and the other out of town bands can only bring out so many kids."

"People will come," Harry says confidently around the tape he tears off the roll with his teeth.

"How do you know?" Liam asks.

"Because it's Zayn," Harry says, like Liam's stupid, like it's the most obvious thing in the world. And the thing is, Liam gets it, because really, he's a part of that too – Zayn isn't his friend, but Liam's pushing at his own comfort zone harder than ever before, to do this for him.

 

Though he's the frontman of Alive, Liam doesn't enjoy the spotlight nearly as much as most. That's the excuse he gives himself when he shrivels under Perrie's piercing gaze. "You know," she says, "The show is in a week. I'm going to the hospital tonight to talk to his parents about it. I'd like you to come."

"I'd like to go, but I work early tomorrow morning," Liam spouts off his excuse.

"No you don't," Perrie snorts. "I asked your boss." So that's how Liam ends up at the hospital with Perrie, twitching and wringing his hands nervously together and shifting in the hard plastic chair. "Would you stop fidgeting already?" Perrie nudges him.

"Sorry," Liam bites his tongue. 

"You're not though, and you won't stop," Perrie sighs, and Liam nods, because he knows she's right. She spots Zayn's parents first, standing quickly and rushing to greet them politely. Yaser has a firm handshake that complements Tricia's warm smile.

"Zayn has good friends," Tricia tells him after he explains what he's doing. Liam wants to say he's not a friend – he barely knows Zayn at all – but he bites his tongue, because this is Zayn's mother. He knows better.

"You can go see him once his sisters leave," Yaser tells them, and Perrie nods. Once the girls trickle out into the waiting room, Perrie nudges Liam down the hall. 

"Pez?" Zayn's awake when they walk into the room, though he sounds tired – his whole body is connected to a multitude of wires. The machines at his side are lined with different coloured lights and beep in various pitches, nearly drowning out Zayn's weak and gravelly voice.

"Yeah, it's me," Perrie smiles, reaching out to brush her hand in his. "Do you remember Liam, from Alive, Niall and Josh's band? I brought him too."

"Why?" Zayn asks, looking baffled as Perrie pushed Liam into his line of vision. "Pez, you know I don't want people to see me like this-"

"Zayn," She mocked, copying his tone. "Liam's been a total sweetheart. He's putting on a benefit show this weekend to help foot your bills."

"Oh," A surprised sound slips out of Zayn. "Why're you doing that?"

"You've done a lot for us," Liam says, trying to keep his voice from shaking. Zayn looks so small and fragile, like he'd disappear into the bed if Liam startled him. "We do what we can for you. This is a community about giving back," he reminds Zayn, who nods once, even though the movement looks like it pains him.

"Thank you," Zayn says, his eyes already drifting close. When Perrie tugs him from the room, Liam finds his feet heavy, like he wants to stay, to make sure Zayn wakes up again.

 

Until now, Liam hadn't known Niall knew how to be sad. Even after the memorials and funerals and long nights singing punk songs to whoever will listen, Niall doesn't cry. He doesn't talk though – there's no bounce in his step, and his eyes are red, like he wants to cry, but he's forgotten how.

Sometimes, Liam forgets that Niall's the backbone of their community; he's all cheerful grins and badly timed jokes that aren't even funny but make everyone laugh anyway. Then he's quiet, too quiet, standing back and watching the world move, and Liam thinks it's scary.

Liam organizes a band night for the day after he visits Zayn; Josh brings his hard drive with over 200 movies, and Niall brings a case of root beer, a box of Oreos, and two bags of chips. They order pizza from the place down the street that does vegan options, and gorge themselves while watching bad rom coms.

It's Liam who breaks first. "I went to see him," he blurts. Josh and Niall turn their heads to look at him. Niall had been scrolling through the collection trying to find a fourth movie for them to watch until they passed out, but his hand had stopped moving. "Zayn, I mean," he clarified.

"How is he?" Josh asked. Liam took a deep breath, and shrugged.

"I don't know. He seemed okay but I don't know the guy. I haven't got anything to compare it to."

They don't talk much for the rest of the night, and if Josh cries a bit during a part of the movie that isn't sad at all and Niall tucks himself closer to Josh's side, Liam turns and looks the other way.

 

The show is on a Saturday night in order to maximize profit. Liam's running around in circles like he's misplaced his own head. "Calm down," Harry tells him. "Everything will be fine."

"And if it's not?" Liam asks.

"It will be," Louis assures him, and it is.

They make him talk. Perrie pushes a microphone into his hand, and at first he thinks because they're supposed to play soon, but he realizes that people are still filtering through the door and milling about, poking at the merch.

Eleanor and Louis had screen printed a dozen different t-shirts – each one personalized. Some of them were Little Things shirts, some of them were random, some of them were Alive shirts, and there were even a handful of RIP Taken shirts in the pile. 

"Thank you for coming," Liam says, and heads turn, because Liam doesn't talk. Liam's one of those kids that people don't notice – he doesn't make a lot of noise everywhere he goes like Josh, or friends with everyone he bumps into like Niall. 

He spouts some shit about how the all the profits are going directly into the hands of Zayn's parents; he talks about the proceeds from ticket sales, drink sales, and merch sales being included with any personal donations. 

He talks about the bands playing; he talks about how they're all friends with Zayn – he talks a lot about how Niall's known Zayn forever, or how Harry begged Zayn to put on the first Little Things show. 

He doesn't talk about how he watches Zayn from the corner of his eye, from the corner of the pit – how he watches the way Zayn's lips quirk up and his foot taps when his favourite bands play. He doesn't talk about the earnest eyes or gentle hands that helped him up that one time he'd been knocked over. He doesn't think about that all.

He thanks everyone again; he reminds everybody of the order of bands, and then hops off the stage, breathing like he'd just run a marathon. "Breathe, Li," Niall reminds him, and he gives his friend a shaky smile. 

"Breathing," Liam confirms.

"Good, because we need to be on in ten, and we need you to be breathing when you sing," Josh says, walking past Liam and slinging his arm around Niall's waist. 

The bands play without a hitch; set changes go smoothly as Liam's seen them go at concerts where there are huge crews and people being paid money to do what they're doing in this small room. 

300 kids pay for entrance at the door, and half of those donate a little extra. At least 100 kids bought something, be it a beverage or t-shirt or record. Liam's so tired at the end of the night his hands are shaking as he counts the money, leaning on Niall's shoulder as he tries to keep his eyes open.

It's Josh who pries the cash from his hands, kisses him on the cheek and tells him, "Count it up tomorrow, Li. You need the sleep."

 

The show raises just short of $9000. Liam's never held that much money in his hands before. He deposits it to the bank, and writes a cheque, trying not to drop his pen the whole time. When he tells the number to Perrie, she cries.

"He's so lucky to have a friend like you," Perrie sniffs, and Liam shakes his head.

"I'm not his friend, Perrie."

"You keep saying that," she sighs, "but it's been a hard few weeks, and you've done so much more than anyone else has."

"Then maybe he needs new friends," Liam says.

Zayn's sitting upright in his hospital bed when they visit him. His parents are there because Perrie told them to be – Liam thinks that if Zayn weren't injured, the café where he initially met Perrie to discuss the show details would've been a better atmosphere than a hospital room.

Tricia thanks him again and again, tears falling down her cheeks, and Liam can't deal with all the tears. He doesn't think he's seen that many people cry in such a short period of time, ever, outside of a funeral. "I didn't do it alone," Liam reminds everyone in the room.

"But we wouldn't have done it without you," Perrie says firmly, and Zayn, he's got a tube down his throat this time, but he smiles around it, and it's such a familiar thing that Liam feels the bottom of his stomach drop out – he's seen that same smile a dozen times over, those lips moving, screaming along to his favourite song.

"I wish I could've done more," Liam says afterward – they're sitting in Perrie's car, and Liam's waiting for the world to change, but it doesn't. The overpass still looks the same from where they sit in the parking lot, and Zayn is still in the hospital.

"You've done more than any of us could've imagined," Perrie says, and when she hugs him tight, he pretends she doesn't feel too soft and breakable in his arms as the tears slide down her cheeks again.

 

Zayn's in the hospital for another two weeks before he's discharged. Liam doesn't see him in that two weeks, so he's kind of surprised to wake up one morning and find Zayn with Niall in his garage. "Oh. Hi," he says; it's too early for surprise guests but he can't help the smile from turning his lips a bit.

"Hi," Niall smiles. "I brought Zayn by -- thought he'd want to thank you himself."

"I do, and thank you," Zayn interrupts Niall, who exchanges a quick look with him before disappearing into Liam's house. "I just… I want to know why you did it, like, not some bullshit reason about how much I give to the community. I want to know-"

"You want to know if I had some sort of hidden agenda," Liam chuckles, dropping down onto the old leather couch they hang out on most days. He notices Zayn's leg is still in a cast, and his crutches are leaning a bit to the side.

"Yeah, I mean, no one ever does anything for no reason," Zayn shrugs. "I want to know why."

"I did it because no one else was doing anything," Liam sighs. "Look, you're always here. I don't know you at all – you're a nice guy, I'm sure. But I didn't do it because you were a friend. I did it because I could do it, since no one else seemed to be able to."

"You wanted to prove a point and take a risk," Zayn confirmed.

"Yeah, and it was for no one but myself. Maybe you got the benefits, but I got the experience-" Liam cut himself off, frowning. "God, I sound like a dick."

"No, that's," Zayn runs his tongue over his teeth like he's contemplating his next words. "I'd feel like an ass taking your hard earned money, you know? If you got nothing out of it."

"I got to play and put on a sweet show with a band I love and hang out with friends, and I got to know Perrie better in the meantime."

"She's a doll," Zayn said immediately. As he does, Liam realizes how close they've been sitting, and leans back a bit. "She's going to make someone really happy one day."

"You're not?" Liam can't help but ask, confused.

"I'm not into Perrie," Zayn clarifies with a crooked smile and unreadable expression on his face. He hesitates and looks away, and then adds quickly, "Or women at all, actually."

"Oh, uh," Liam stutters, startled by the confession. "Me neither," he blurts, and it sounds stupid when he says it out loud – he hasn't said it out loud before. 

"So you won't mind if I kiss you now then?" Zayn asks, and Liam shakes his head frantically, allowing Zayn to lean in. But then he's pulling back, cursing. "This fucking cast – can't move like I'm used to," he snorts.

Liam pulls back, head clouded with disappointment until Zayn rolls his eyes and says, "Come here, idiot." And he pulls Liam over to him by the hips, lets Liam swing his legs around Zayn so that he's straddling Zayn's lap, and grins.

"Hi," Liam chokes out.

"Hi," Zayn grins and licks his lips. "I'm going to kiss you now."

 

("Thank you," Zayn says after they detach from their mouths and Liam settles better onto Zayn's lap. "For everything, I mean. I really appreciate it. I lost three of my best friends in that accident. The money, it's just one more thing to worry about."

"Don't worry about it," Liam says, reaching up to touch his face gently. "I should be thanking you."

"Why?" Zayn asks confused as Liam kisses him on the cheek.

"I've never had this before – never told anyone before, y'know? You're always pushing me to do things, to do these new things I never thought I'd be able to do before, and you don't even mean to do it."

"I guess that just means I should stick around," Zayn leans forward to nuzzle into Liam's neck. "I can see we'll be good for each other."

"And maybe we can start a band," Liam adds.

"We can start a band," Zayn says, "and who knows. Maybe we'll be famous one day."

 

They aren't friends. They're so much more than that.)

**Author's Note:**

> There's a lot more to putting on a show than finding the bands and venue, and spending some time running around putting up posters, but I kind of glossed over that because that isn't what this story is about. One day I'll probably write something about the true struggle of putting on shows, but until that day, you have this.
> 
> Thanks for reading. I'm new to the fandom so if anyone wants to talk about related things, hockey, superheroes, or just say hi, I'm on Twitter (ALL THE DAMN TIME) [@Munnoaster](http://twitter.com/Munnoaster/) or tumblr (occasionally) at [chloroform dreams](http://chloroformdreams.tumblr.com).
> 
> Please, come say hi. I like new friends. :3
> 
> PS.
> 
> Feedback is greatly appreciated.


End file.
